NOT Like the Award

I am not a person who is good with remembering trivial details like whether I have met a person before, and if so, what their name is. (My memory is filled to capacity with quotes from Boy Meets World and useless facts gleaned from Wikipedia.)

I try to use mnemonic devices to help myself remember names, but I continually make the mistake of relying on the person's current outfit to trigger my memory: Melissa is wearing Magenta. JOHN is wearing a JAUNty hat. STeve is wearing a STriped SThirt. Of course, three months later I run into Melissa at another party and though she remembers me, she's gone and worn blue, I believe I have never met this blue-shirt wearing person before, and everyone shares in the awkwardness of my error.

To make things easier for other persons with my particular handicap, and in the hopes of a divine karmic boomerang effect, I've come up with a standard mnemonic device for my own name:

Emie - Like The Award (tm)

Notice that I have appended (tm) to the end. I am pretty sure I invented this phrase, and have claimed all related dibs.

Imagine my horror, then, when I decided to start myself a blog to record all my incoherent rants, only to find that liketheaward.blogspot.com was TAKEN!!!

More than offended, I was in disbelief. I can imagine no legitimate use for this blog address other than to rob me of my rightful claim to Like The Award as my own personal tagline. As further evidence, the blog is "by invitation only" and I am pretty sure that means it doesn't even really exist.

I weighed my options: asintheaward was available, but clearly inferior. Emieliketheaward was also available, but let's face it - when people are trying to recommend my blog to strangers in the street, they don't have time to explain that despite being "like the award" it's actually spelled E-M-I-E and not E-M-M-Y.

Finally, out of frustration and spite, I chose notliketheaward.blogspot.com. Because I guess, actually, other than my name, I am nothing like the Academy Award. I am not made of solid gold, for starters. Neither do I have wings, or the body of a ballerina, or a giant hollow globe that I raise to the heavens.

Anyway, this conveniently provided me with my first rant for my rant blog. It also provided me with the excuse to create a running list of People On My List, starting with the anonymous owner of liketheaward.blogspot.com. If I can figure out this Blogger thing, expect to see a People On My List list featured prominently and permanently somewhere over there ---->

Which brings me to the point of this blog: I am a person who likes to rant, often incoherently and about petty things, but sometimes about Things of Gravity also. Welcome to my blog of rants. I hope you enjoy.